Pink’s last album “Funhouse” is wonderful. It is definitely an album to listen to. Labile as a real breakup. One moment you are arrogantly confident and the next you are crying crawled into a ball.
This particular one is one of my favorites lately (couldn’t find a decent video for songs “Mean” or “Crystal Ball” or “Glitter In The Air”).
Enjoy. (never mind the Keisha add before it)
I stayed in bed until 2 PM. I got up at one point, but only to get coffee and crawled back to my cozy bed with iPhone and laptop. Who cares anyway? I can totally stay all day in nightgown and no one would know.
Suddenly I realized how pathetic it was. Not even he is worth that. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, got up, took my snowboard and went to have few hours of fun on slope.
Much better.
Why are we so self obsessed? Me, me, me …
Because we don’t know anything different.
I dislike fridays lately.
Hope that dies last … I know it is February already. I know, I know, I know! I can’t help it - as long as there is even the tiniest chance - I hope. I try to deny it, I repeat to myself that I don’t hope, but I do.
My special somebody keeps me hanging by the thread. He has my keys and this is the way he keeps up my hope that he will walk through the door. The window of possibility opens on Friday evening and closes on Saturday. Time in hell.
Maybe it isn’t hope, but reckless optimism. Exactly the thing that he is lacking. Experience, wisdom tells me that he would call if he would come. He doesn’t make surprises, at least the pleasant ones.
Running home lightheaded. Hoping until the last possible moment that the light on my window would be on. Every Friday. I hate it! Does he collect keys or something?! Why he doesn’t give me closure?! Give me chance to move on!
It is a question of hanging on or letting go. Choice. All up to me. I am not ready to let go yet. I have condemned myself all by my own to this. “If there is a will, there is a way.” There is no will yet for letting go. I can’t. Not yet.
Sometimes I wish he would read my blog. Yet, I wouldn’t write the way I do if he was among the readers. I would consider it manipulating.
There is this thing going around in Facebook. “Go to urbandictionary.com and look up your first name. Copy this in your status and what Urban Dictionary says about your name in the first comment.”
Answer: “vaike isn’t defined yet.”
Thank you very much. Should I feel better now?
It was really (and I mean really!) bad idea to read old messages before deleting.
IRC, #skydive 20:20. Dialog length about 90 sec.
CV: tsoome, hi
CV: where can I see the battery charging progress?
tsoome: on what?
CV: on iPhone
tsoome: I have it on the upper right corner …
CV: ee
CV: but if the charging is in the middle?
CV: isn’t there a place with % showing?
tsoome: then there is a huge battery icon in the middle of the screen? :P
tsoome: kinda hard to miss…
CV: aa
CV: that one is showing the progress?
CV: that green thing there?
CV: grin
CV: I’m blond
(action) tsoome is banging his head aginst the table
I have a new toy. White. There is a noncapital “i” in its name. Need another hint? You can among many other things make phone calls with it. :D
I got my last month’s phone bill. It used to be around (and over) 100EUR and now it is a bit short of 20EUR. I should also add to it that I haven’t had so much money on my bank account ever before. After years of being almost in bankruptcy all the time, I am on a positive side for a change (time to buy a new canopy or what?). It is expensive to have a relationship you know, especially when you are the independent type like me, who rather pays for him then let anyone else pay for you.
That seems to be the balancing force of my life. 3 aspects that are never high at the same time - love life, professional life and finances. Mostly 1 up and 2 down. Sometimes when one goes really low there can even be 2 almost up. Like now. It is pretty calm in professional life and finances are up …
I opened my browser to write “I MISS PROF. ON MY SCREEN!”. Yes, exactly that loud. Before I managed to write even a word my MSN window popped up. Prof. He is back! And his is not only back from his trip, but he is also back on my screen. It has been many long months since he was on my screen regularly. Life and its corrections. He is back. I am so, so happy! I was probably already driving #skydive channel people crazy with my strange behaviour lately (not that it ever has been normal).
I am smiling happily. Even the sun came out.
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