September 10, 2015

just another

label: still here — CV @ 5:10 PM

I sometimes wonder about my “head” when I lie awake at night. What made me the way I am and why can’t I get it quite right? The things that feel essential/basic/elementary to me, seem to be mystery to the ones around me. Why do I see the world so differently?

And yet. The first year in school has been enlightening. All those essential/basic/elementary ideas keep poping up from the books I read. People, way smarter than me, saying that, this is how things should be. And yet, I feel like a loner when I live and act based on these concepts.

Yeah. Being socially a total wrecking ball doesn’t help either. I have always admired people, who know how to behave to get along. The skill that I so totally lack. I do understand how to break ice and how to talk to people. That is easy. Also flirt and maybe even seduction, but not much beyond that.

I think I have too many assumptions about others. I am exactly that naive that, when other person has attended the same lecture, read the same book or even agreed with me about some viewpoint – I assume that they act accordingly. It goes beyond my understanding why someone would not apply the knowledge acquired. So if I know that someone has the knowledge, I expect certain kind of behaviour based on that. No wonder I keep ending up in frustrated faux pas and call people stupid.

Why does my mind work so differently?

I am burning the bridges again. I think. At least I am really good at burning bridges.

1 impression

  1. +1

    Impressed by Mann — September 10, 2015 @ 7:58 PM

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