Arrived yesterday at home. I found out that:
* there is no water in my flat
* there is no toilet in my flat
* there is no electricity in my flat
I had to empty my fridge and while doing that, I found 3 kilos of ice cream, that has to be eaten.
I feel sick now. Ice cream anyone?
I feel so dumb. Silly, childish, dumb, stupid … I can’t shake that feeling off.
I was treated with arrogance and superiority. It made me feel so small, insignificant … and sad about the fact that I’m nobody. My confidence is shaken to the ground.
How can I keep forgetting one simple rule.
There are no exceptions.
Nothing more nothing less.
Something woke me up. I was lying on my back and I couldn’t understand what was wrong. I tried to move my right hand and I couldn’t. I felt total terror. I lifted my right arm with my left and I couldn’t feel anything. My right hand was totally limp. No sense whatsoever. I almost screamed from terror. I started rubbing my hand. Finally some feeling got back to it and I sighed with relief.
Now I’m trying to shake that memory off my mind. The way it felt to hold my senseless limp arm …
I have to remind myself that people tell me things and lecture me because they care.
We girls decided to have some quality time. Here is an example of it.
It is HOT here! We managed to get 5 jumps in today. Four 2-ways and one 16-way. Sweating like hell and drinking water like maniacs. Right now, at this very moment they are torturing us and not putting the beerlight on. Bastards!
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
=Linkin Park - Leave Out All the Rest=
She has reasons to be missed. For me it is the way of her smile and her sincerity. Peace.
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