I woke up this morning depleted. I feel so tired like I haven’t slept at all. Nothing seems to work and things keep falling apart. Sometimes I just get so tired of doing everything alone.
Above all. I should be packing tonight for leaving to tunnel camp tomorrow, but … first I have to unpack to start packing!
I hate those mornings when I didn’t sleep well enough and wake up tired.
It only takes one landing to get a grass stained green ass on your jumpsuit.
Yesterday I had that first day at office after holiday. The workday when you definitely don’t want to work, but everyone has waited for you to get back and they pour a workload over you.
At first I found an excuse to go out of office for coffee as soon as I got in. The heating system had turn itself off during the weekend and office was a bit too cold to feel comfortable in. Best excuse - turn electric heater on and just let others know that you feel cold and you gonna go and get coffee. After getting back I made a face that I have to get through e-mails. Actually I was reading blogs because during the holiday I had taken care of all work e-mails, but not read any blogs and news. Then I made a list of things that had to be taken care of. Damn long list. So as the list was too long and it was already midday - I decided to eat first and work later.
Eating out of the way I had ran out of excuses not to work. With heavy heart I set my mind on working and made my first move. That move ended the workday. 1/2 litres of water on my table and mostly on keyboard. After damage control (at least this time it wasn’t coffee!) I had to admit that the keyboard is not working any more and as my screensaver needs password etc etc - I had to end my workday. Perfect!
I have totally forgot to share the best of news. While in Empuriabrava I got an SMS announcing the arrival of Jessika. Another lovely girl in our family. I am an aunt again for the 6th time.
I don’t think I ever had better stand down days at DZ as I have had past few days. I don’t even bitch about the weather. He …
Some statistics:
Till now we have got only 13 jumps. 8 on first day and 5 on second. On top of that - tuuker decided to get sick. 3 jumps with original team, 10 with reserve man. 1 landing out (Turo had a 10 min ride back to DZ with car) as the spot was …. loooooooooong. Once we also had a scare as we were above the city with north wind (it means had to get back to DZ against the wind). We have also seen one guy going swimming in canal as he managed to land there. It is hard to write about team jumps as we only had 3 jumps with original configuration.
I have my hopes up for tomorrow.
I have arrived. I am in Empuriabrava. I can’t stop grinning. To add to that - he is the cherry on top of everything right now.
I can steel some happy time for myself if I want.
I want to.
I am empty. There is nothing to write about. I have lost my ability to seize moments and collect them.
I am exhausted - mentally, emotionally and physically.
Damn, I want life. Not only dreams and SMS-es and occasional sex.
Just a notion. I have had relatively many relationships in my life. Looking back, majority of my memories still seem to be about me doing everything alone, being alone.
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