Vaike Õiglane

Just few examples about me.

I have had “repair jeans” on my todo list for something like 10 days. Today I finally got to it. Took my jeans out of the basket to find out that I have actually already patched them 2 weeks ago.

Monday I put white wine to chill as I was planning to make fish. Finished eating fish. Did the dishes. Opened the fridge door and remembered. Now it has been fish for thursday and friday so I can drink the wine as well. Hahaa! That actually resulted a pretty funny sight yesterday evening. Me, after half a bottle of wine, on a balance board, doing my every evening exercises. LOL

I have my own parking lot which comes with the apartment. It is one of the farther ones.

I turned towards the parking lot and a gull landed in front of my car. I slowed down for the gull to get away. He decided to walk. He walked in front of my car all the way to the back of the parking lot and then even turned into my parking place! For an onlooker it would have looked like I was trying to run over a gull following him all the way. He was looking at me with a contempt after I stopped the car.

This morning my car was covered with bird feces. I counted 15 hits! Usually there is none. If that was not the vengeance then I don’t know what it was!

I have eventually made up my mind.

I will try my luck.

I want to study. I want a lot of things, but I don’t have that kind of money. I’ve been racking my brains to come up with any financing plan, but if you don’t have then you don’t have the money.

It feels good to finally have a direction again.

Sometimes I ask myself if I am wasting my time. Yet, I can’t figure out anything meaningful to do instead. So is it a waste then? There is no guarantee that doing something else would be meaningful and not the same kind of waste.

Another day, another experience. Good, interesting, cute, funny, lame, contemptible (some people are what they are as I am what I am, but I like my ways a lot more). Scored 2 AFF jumps, 1 training jump for instructor wannabe, 1 top* of the fir sawn off, 1 canopy salvaged. Middle of my body aches. Arching to stay with 110kg exit weight student left its mark. It didn’t seem so difficult at the time, but I can’t find any other excuse for my aching middle.

Fresh air poisoning** guaranteed. After long winter break indoors those first weekends at the DZ are “too much oxygen” :D

* Have I ever mentioned that I am afraid of heights? Especially when the fir tree I am on and trying to lower is hectically swaying in not-so-mild winds?
** irony you know (and if you don’t, it is your problem)

CV says: you don’t want to even know what is going on on that front!
prof. says: sure I do
prof. says: it is comforting to know at least one person who is having a worse time than myself
CV tells a long story of how things are going from bad to worse.
CV says: feeling better now?
prof. says: yes, a lot
CV says: good, at least I am still good for smth
prof. says: indeed

Prof. is a true friend indeed!

Why this grown up life has to be so hard?

I am on a painkiller diet once again. Dentists. They know how to make your life miserable.

There are days when I hate Finns. Today is one of them.

I am so frustrated. I don’t get it. It is supposed to be a club, a circle, a … whatever. Why they are such annoying idiots about charing information? Endless swamp. I will say “fuck it”, I will, but I just can’t, just yet.

Yeah, I wish I wasn’t such an optimistic moron myself as well. There is no need to run against the wall. My sanguine initiative and will is not welcomed. I should get the hint already. Ignorance is bliss. How can one learn it?

22 reads, 2 private talks, still no answer. Am I taking something away from someone without even realizing it? Envy? Pride? I wish I understood the resentment. Ou yes, it can be simple racism. At least it would make sense.

Or … I am simply really, really bad skydiver and no one has guts to tell me that. Any confidence I had about my flying skills is starting to leave me. Not that I ever had great confidence. About anything.

I can feel myself shine from satisfaction inside. I’ve seen beauty tonight. Those are rare moments when you want to jump up from your seat and applaud for performance. Barbora Kohoutkova’s dancing in Tchaikovsky’s ballet “Sleeping Beauty” in Helsinki Opera House was exactly what made me feel like that.

This week has been super cultural. Franz Lehar’s operetta “The Merry Widow” on monday and ballet today. Helsinki’s Opera House is great. They are really good at using everything technology can offer. Plays had nothing major to complain about. I wish they had just a tiny bit better leading female voices in opera and operetta. I’ve seen Katrin Karisma on stage too many times - her energy, voice, acting is hard to beat.