August 26, 2012

label: haven — CV @ 10:57 PM

Life.
Happens.
I am busy with all this.
What are you doing in front of a computer?

PS. Pilleriin makes amazing pie! And photos as well.

August 20, 2012

another realization

label: haven — CV @ 6:38 PM

I don’t think I am a workaholic. Office is just the only safe and stable haven I have had throughout the years.

August 18, 2012

another about Ayra

label: haven — CV @ 7:00 PM

Child’s life can be very frustrating. Imagine …

She sees something really interesting across the room. With a mighty effort she crawls all the way across the room. She reaches out for that cord/book/whatever and her fingers almost touch it and … and then her mother lifts her up and puts her back exactly where she started. Damn!

August 11, 2012

another about Ayra

label: haven — CV @ 10:57 PM

Seems like it was a breaking point for her too. She has been eating without any fights since that evening 2 nights ago. Double amounts! Seriously, I made porridge tonight and then I made more and she ate it all. She ate the whole can of puree today in 2 mealtimes! Whoa. Usually it took 3-5 meals and I still threw 3/4 away.

I truly hope this isn’t one some few days phase.

August 9, 2012

another about Ayra

label: haven — CV @ 10:06 PM

I hit the wall today. I totally lost my temper while trying to get her to eat her evening porridge. I’ve been fighting almost every mealtime for her to eat since she turned 2 months. Today I couldn’t cope any more. It is so frustrating! I can’t understand. Why she wouldn’t eat?

another about Ayra

label: haven — CV @ 4:11 PM

She learned to send air kisses. Smack!

… and then she smiles …

August 7, 2012

FML

label: haven — CV @ 2:34 PM

Is this the bottom? Lowest of the low? Definitely feels like it, but I know that it can always get worse. Probably it will. FML.

July 30, 2012

another realization

label: haven — CV @ 12:13 PM

Recently my braids keep getting on a way during opening. More than once I have reached for raiser to turn and yanked my hair while turning. I should probably do something about it.

July 28, 2012

unbalanced

label: haven — CV @ 10:03 PM

So I am sitting here drinking beer after really hot day of skydiving and I feel out of place, out of balance, out of … (wanted to say hope at first, but I am never out of hope) … happiness. I am unbalanced.

I’ve always had hard time balancing my life, my desires, my possibilities, my hobbies, my time, my work … Now I have to factor in Ayra. It hasn’t come easily. Especially with work. So, I am unbalanced and a bit deeper in a mess than usually. No imaginary control, just a one step after another and no planning.

Who said I am a control freak? Control freaks can’t live like that. I am pretty sure of it.

July 25, 2012

another spark

label: haven — CV @ 11:31 PM

Doorbell (actually a really loud buzzer) at 10:30 PM. Wtf? I answer. Brother of mine wants to get in. I greet him grumpily at the door.
CV:”What are you thinking of? Why didn’t you call? Ayra is asleep! Was it really necessary to make so much noise? I understand that I have trained my baby so we can talk etc when she is a sleep, but that doesn’t mean that loud and sharp noises are welcomed!”
Him:”Sorry! But I called for you outside. You didn’t hear. I also threw stones against the window.”
CV:”Seriously!? Are you trying to tell me that you were yelling in front of the house?”
Him:”Yes.”
CV:”Where is your phone?”
Him:”In my back pocket. For some reason I didn’t cross my mind to use it.”

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